.:What's Left Of Me:.

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Despite everything, she could not shake the feeling of abandonment, of loneliness- of failure. It was covering her body like a virus- whatever she did was without purpose, without meaning- it was so confusing to go through this alone. Freedom seemed like a wonderful haven behind invisible chains, but now that the chains were gone- she had no idea what to do. Anything- everything she had done and fought for became undone as all the right and wrong reasons were suddenly blown away like wind against the snow.

It blew against her face, the air around her twirling and twirling until the weather turned into a thunderous storm of rain and snow- if she were smart, she would have gone to find shelter. But she refused to do it. No. Not again. Not another mindless decision, one without anything or anyone to serve or look up to. She needed to find someone- anyone, to fit the void she left. She had been her master, and when she had died- all true knowledge and will died with her. As she neared the cliffside, she raised her head to the sky- ignoring the rain and snow as it hit her body with violence and aggression, she had to find some way to cope.

"Is this what you wanted!?" she shouted at nothing but the black and grey clouds above. She took a forced breath, struggling to stop the tears from flowing down as everything finally collapsed on her and she realized she could not do anything. NOTHING. "For me to be alone!? To come to a distant land where I know no one and know nothing!?" she choked on a sob, her face had gone numb by then with the freezing winds, so she could not feel the warm tears flowing from her eyes. "WHAT DID YOU WANT FROM ME, RAMLAH!?"

Saying her name now... it felt so alien, so dead. Because Ramlah was dead, and there was nothing left of her or her family... even Lorelei. The only reason she was willing to stand abuse and go behind chains. It was to continue to belong to her- to hope that she would care for her forever, to see her happy and watch as her dreams and ambitions grew. She had been so close- only to die. And she could have stopped it. She could have stopped it. She collapsed on the cliff's edge, waiting- wanting- the ground below her to give way and send her down to a quick, perhaps even painful death. She did not know how she survived or why- but she refused to further make a way for herself without attributing to something! She continued to sob into her paws, her form at the mercy of mother nature.

She herself could not live without someone else telling her what to do. It had been so deeply ingrained in her training, to follow anyone- not lead. How could a creature like her lead? With a sickly form, horrid pelt and a mind that was too stupid to do anything other. The masters had freedom and they did so much with it. No wonder the slaves did not have freedom of their own. They would always be stupid, idiotic and mindless creatures. 

How could she have ever thought she could amount to anything? She needed someone... anyone. She trembled, as she realized that everything Ramlah had told her, had said she deserved- it was all a lie.

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I think this is the beginning of a beautiful new plot I have never thought I could actually pull off, I guess?
Whelp, for those who may not follow, Lori has "realized" that she's a useless lump and that the reason she feels so lost is because she's a follower- she doesn't know how to freedom. She's doing herself a frighten by doing things without anyone's consent. It's so unnerving for her. So, she has concluded that she needs to follow someone. Anyone. Which means she is willing to follow anyone and do whatever they want...

Anyone want a henchwoman?

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Half Body/Headshot: +1 Antler
Simple BG: +1 Antler
Total Antlers: 3 Antlers

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Antlers Lorelei © Me